The Time Will Pass

Time by sapoots

“I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened,” said Frodo.

“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

We are all living on the axis of time.

And yet, the implications of that reality tend to be buried by our lack of awareness.

I think of people’s lives as arrows traveling across the axis of time. At any given time, we:

• Are driving the arrow upward through good habits/behaviors

• Are driving the arrow downward through negative habits/behaviors

• Are flatlining the arrow through competing habits/behaviors

As we progress through life, we manifest varying degrees of health, intelligence, and fulfillment through our daily actions. The arrow serves as the history of you—a documentation of what led you to where you are today.

Maybe you’re different, but I have never aspired to be unhealthy. I have never aspired to be ignorant. I have never aspired to be unhappy.

And thus, I want my arrow to reflect that.

Where we are now—mentally and physically—is the slow amalgamation of decisions we make on our day to day.

This graph, borrowed from James Clear (author of easily the best book on habit formation, Atomic Habits) demonstrates this concept perfectly.

Your arrow moves upward when we strive for better, daily.

Your arrow moves downward when we let ourselves rot.

Now let’s think of this practically. What does this look like for people?

Let’s take Sam, a 30 year old boy who still lives with his parents and works at the local CVS. Sam is frustrated with his life. In his early 20’s, he was sure he would strive for great things. He was sure he would be successful. He was sure he’d own a home by 30. He was an athlete in school, what happened? He wonders why he’s out of shape.

Fed up with his current life, he decides to keep a detailed record of his day off. His list looks like this:

1. I got up and browsed YouTube. Stayed in bed for a couple hours.

2. Got up, made a bowl of cereal. Didn’t have anything to cook.

3. Turned on my computer and joined Discord. Talked to friends about the new game we’re playing.

4. After gaming for a bit, I went into the kitchen and saw some left over spaghetti that Mom made last night. I was bored of that so I door-dashed my classic Chick Fil A order — Two spicy chickens, large mac n cheese, Large Coke, and a large fry. Damn that was delicious.

5. Was going to apply to some jobs but watched some YouTube instead. This new game I’m playing is super interesting so I need to learn some strategy to rank up with my friends.

6. Took the trash out after dinner. Walked the dog around the block.

7. Was going to clean my room today but I’ll just do it tomorrow. My friends wanted me to hop online anyways.

8. Ended up staying up way too late. It’s 2:30am now.

This list is hyperbolic of course, but for sake of example, let's analyze his list.

1. I got up and browsed YouTube. Stayed in bed for a couple hours.

What Sam didn’t mention is that he has been wanting to get back into shape for some time now. His decision to stay in bed and browse YouTube was an impulsive response to his inner voice telling him he can workout tomorrow. He didn’t want to go today. He was tired. So he watched YouTube instead. His decision to watch YouTube instead of working out drives his arrow downward.

2. Got up, made a bowl of cereal. Didn’t have anything to cook.

What Sam didn’t mention is that he hasn’t cooked a healthy breakfast in years. He eats high-sugar cereal 5 times a week. And when he does “cook” breakfast, it’s frozen toaster strudels or microwave breakfast sandwiches. His decision to consistently eat unhealthy foods drives his arrow downward.

5. Was going to apply to some jobs but watched some YouTube instead. This new game I’m playing is super interesting so I need to learn some strategy to rank up with my friends.

What Sam didn’t mention is that he’s been wanting to start a Python bootcamp to try and get a better job, but every time he starts learning he feels he can’t focus, so he joins Discord instead since his friends are usually in there. His decision to hangout with friends instead of focusing on growing his career drives his arrow downward.

6. Took the trash out after dinner. Walked the dog around the block.

What Sam didn’t mention is that he tends to walk his dog around the block during sunset hours. He enjoys the fresh air and catching the sunset views at his local park. He feels his mind declutter a bit when he does this, so he does it every day he can. His daily effort to maintain this healthy habit drives his arrow upward.

7. Was going to clean my room today but I’ll just do it tomorrow. My friends wanted me to hop online anyways.

What Sam didn’t mention is that he hasn’t cleaned his room in over two months. His Mom gets upset and demands he cleans it, but he knows that if he puts it off long enough she’ll clean it for him. Instead of taking responsibility, he pushes off his responsibility to his undeserving Mom, driving his arrow downward.

Now ask: Where does Sam’s arrow trend?

Of course, it is with full certainty that his arrow is trending downward.

And you would be correct. The summation of his behaviors indicate that Sam is actively moving away from where he wants to be. His healthy habit of walking the dog around the block every night isn’t enough to sway his arrow upward because the ratio of destructive behaviors to healthy behaviors is off-balance.

He’s building a life that guarantees health complications.

He’s building a life of insecurity and unfulfillment.

He’s building a life without financial security.

All by decisions he makes on a moment-to-moment basis.

His actions are misaligned with his goals, and as such, his arrow moves downward

I encourage you, the reader, to make your own list. To think about the many decisions you make on a day-to-day and which direction they move your arrow.

Ask yourself:

• Where do you want to be? What sacrifices must be made to get there?

  
  

• What behaviors of yours are unsustainable?

  
  

• What are you doing that brings your arrow down?

  
  

• What behaviors of yours currently bring your arrow up? How has this helped you?

  
  

• What should you be doing that brings your arrow up? How can these behaviors replace the bad behaviors that take us away from our goals?

As you analyze your list, you may ask, “How do I know which behaviors move my arrow upwards or downwards?”

The answer to this is simple: It’s all about your current priorities.

What are you prioritizing right now? If you’re in a period of life that demands you work hard and focus, playing video games could move your arrow downwards, as it serves as a distraction; However, let’s say you’re in a period of self reflection and actively making a effort to destress and relax. In this period, maybe video games serve to benefit you, in which case your arrow would move upward.

Use your intuition about what chapter of life your in to determine the direction.

Another question that might come up is this: “I want to move my arrow upward but I don’t even know what that looks like? How do I know what to do?”

It’s a great question, but I can’t give you an exact list of things to do.

Though, think about this. I recently watched an episode of a podcast in which the host, Chris Williamson, noted that his road to self improvement was not built off of stellar role models, but quite the opposite—The majority of his self growth was through avoiding bad behavior. Using people he didn’t aspire to be as reverse role models, avoiding their behavior as a means of improvement. (listen to the snippet here)

This is fascinating.

Because we stand on the axis of time, if you struggle to find the right things to do, consistently finding what NOT to do will eventually funnel you into good behavior.

Become better through trimming off the unnecessary.

Hopefully this is enough to get you started in thinking about where you are heading in life.

But no matter where you are heading in life, own it. We play mental tricks to afford ourselves bad behavior. Approach your habits with great scrutiny, because while they may not have any negative effect now, over the course of your lifetime, they may compound into something you’re unable to remedy.

This is the power of time.

Good habits leverage time to afford us health and prosperity.

Bad habits leverage time to afford us with illness and misfortune.

There’s fulfillment to be had in unhealthy behaviors, I’m not saying be 100% pure—I certainly am not—but own the risks associated with it. Not every behavior of yours needs to drive the arrow upward, but the majority of them should.

So be honest, what the fuck are you doing?

We all live on the axis of time, so use it wisely.

The time will pass anyways. It’s yours to make of it.

Thank you for reading, truly.

Til next time,

sprout 🌱

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